“There’s nothing wrong with being a hopeless romantic, someone who believes in true love, appreciates romance, and wants the fairy-tale type of relationship,” Allen says. “The problem with being a hopeless romantic comes from a lack of awareness of being one. If you’re someone who falls hard for whoever you’re dating, meaning you’re planning and fantasizing about the future from the beginning, and you don’t have the awareness that you’re doing that, it can get you into trouble.”
Allen also believes that hopeless romantics are prone to challenging breakups because they invest so much into the relationship so fast. “It feels like they’re losing a big part of themselves during the breakup. And they’re more likely to keep going back to their ex or jump into a new relationship really quickly.” The split is a far fall from idealistic love they may wish to avoid.
Jackson adds that the situation becomes a serious issue when hopeless romantics struggle with navigating conflict. “As soon as there is evidence that this isn’t the fairy tale that they envision, they typically leave the relationship prematurely, feeling like it isn’t meant to be.” But they don’t alter their concept of love. So the cycle continues to repeat itself.
In other words, hopeless romantics can set themselves up for disappointment. But that isn’t to say that hopeless romantics can’t eventually find what they’re looking for. Level of cognizance is the key factor in determining whether this outlook on love renders negative or positive results.
And importantly, you can be a romantic without being hopeless. If there’s no pattern in your life of the above behaviors or situations, you may only be a hopeful, intentional lover.